Lately.

So over the past few weeks I have been trying to spend time with my family and Jade. I see Jade every other night for the most part either at my place or the tattoo shop. It’s been really nice being able to have a girlfriend to hang out with that isn’t all about drama. Video games and Anime.

It was a long weekend. Friday I went to the tattoo shop to get my industrial piercing. Saturday I went to the tattoo shop to see how Jade was feeling after I spent the day doing laundry at my dad’s house. She wasn’t feeling too well so later in the evening I went with her to the hospital so she wouldn’t have to go alone and we didn’t get home until 4am! Then Sunday evening we had a fish fry at Hester and Jerry’s house (Grandparents who live next door to my dad.) We had the neighbors over and the family and had a good ole time. Then stopped at the tattoo shop to see Jade and waited for her to get off work so we could hang out some more. Monday was the day at the mall. From like 3:30p-4 to 8:30p. It was a nice day to go shopping. 🙂 She also was able to meet my step dad last night.

We went out shopping last night for some new clothes and stuff to pass some time. I ended up buying Cards Against Humanity, so I am excited to play it some time soon. I got some new pants that actually fit my body since I’ve already lost so much weight over my anxiety and depression. I can’t fit into any of my old clothes. I am back down to a small and 1’s. Which is fine with me but what the fuck happened?! But I did get a new t-shirt I LOVE that says “Let’s binge watch Anime and Chill”, so cute.

I have to get lab work done so that they can check out my blood and make sure I’m not actually sick. Like “sick” sick. I get dizzy easy, bruises everywhere, fatigue, weight loss. I have to see what is happening to me. If only I had a few months to live, then I could just tell everyone to go fuck themselves then rack up all kinds of debt for my mom to pay off. It would be so fantastic.

I need to get out of this funk that I’ve been in it for so long, I need to find a way to break this habit. I need to let go of the anger I have. The depression that has arisen. Am I just making myself sick? I need to plan solo vacations this summer with no one but the dogs. I just need to get away.

Leave a Reply

Please log in using one of these methods to post your comment:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s