Ughh.

So this past weekend my recently new ex came into town. This weekend has made me so uncomfortable. I think things are so far past fixable that it may be time to stick a pin in it. We are more friends than anything. It’s been this way for years.

I am completely heart broken at the moment. I need time for myself. I do not need a man to be happy. I need to find myself again, start having a fun life again and enjoying every day. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to enjoy my life that it’s time I take care of myself first. I don’t want to make anyone but myself happy at this point in my life since it has been so long since I’ve been happy at all.

I just want to know why NOW my opinion matters, why NOW you hear my voice.

I honestly have no idea what I want out of life anymore.
I know I do not want to get married to him.

All I DO know is that I want to be happy and right now I know I am not. It’s not only just the relationship aspect of things its work, figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.. Who I want to be, who I want to become.

I just don’t want to be depressed anymore.

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