So this past weekend my recently new ex came into town. This weekend has made me so uncomfortable. I think things are so far past fixable that it may be time to stick a pin in it. We are more friends than anything. It’s been this way for years.
I am completely heart broken at the moment. I need time for myself. I do not need a man to be happy. I need to find myself again, start having a fun life again and enjoying every day. It’s been so long since I’ve been able to enjoy my life that it’s time I take care of myself first. I don’t want to make anyone but myself happy at this point in my life since it has been so long since I’ve been happy at all.
I just want to know why NOW my opinion matters, why NOW you hear my voice.
I honestly have no idea what I want out of life anymore.
I know I do not want to get married to him.
All I DO know is that I want to be happy and right now I know I am not. It’s not only just the relationship aspect of things its work, figuring out what I want to do with the rest of my life.. Who I want to be, who I want to become.
I just don’t want to be depressed anymore.